If you were ever too unwell to speak for yourself, the people caring for you would have to guess what you would want. Writing your preferences down takes that guesswork away. It is not a morbid exercise; it is a practical kindness, and it can be as simple or as detailed as you like. Here is how to approach it.
Start with the everyday things
Before the big medical questions, there are the small human ones that make a real difference to how it feels to be cared for:
- Where you would prefer to be cared for, such as at home if possible.
- The routines, food and comforts that matter to you.
- Who you would want around you, and who to contact.
- Cultural or religious wishes.
Care staff genuinely value these notes, because they let them treat a person rather than a patient.
Then the treatment questions
You can also record your wishes about medical treatment. There are two main ways to make these count:
- An advance statement sets out your general wishes and preferences. It guides the people making decisions, though it is not legally binding.
- An advance decision to refuse treatment, sometimes called a living will, lets you refuse specific treatments in defined circumstances. Done correctly, it is legally binding in England and Wales, and must be valid and applicable to the situation.
If you want someone to make health decisions for you, that is what a health and welfare lasting power of attorney is for; see our LPA guide. An advance decision and an LPA can work together, so it is worth understanding how they fit.
Align with NHS guidance
Advance care planning is encouraged by the NHS, and your GP or care team can help you record your wishes in a way clinicians will see and follow. It is worth having the conversation with them, so your notes sit where they will actually be found in an emergency.
Keep it where it will be found
A clear plan nobody can find helps no one. Share it with the people who might need it, tell your GP, and keep a copy somewhere accessible. This is one of the things FamilySafe is built to hold, so your wishes and the people who need them are in one place.
Frequently asked questions
Is a written care preference legally binding?
An advance statement guides decisions but is not binding. An advance decision to refuse treatment can be legally binding in England and Wales if it is valid and applies to the situation. A health and welfare LPA lets a named person decide for you.
Do I need a solicitor?
Not necessarily. You can record wishes yourself and with your GP or care team. Legal advice is worth it for an advance decision or where circumstances are complex.
Where should I keep it?
Somewhere accessible, shared with those who may need it and ideally recorded with your GP so clinicians can see it in an emergency.
Sources
- NHS: Advance care planning, advance statements and advance decisions
- GOV.UK: Making decisions for someone else, and lasting power of attorney
Reviewed by a registered nurse (name to be assigned). Last reviewed: [set on publish]. This is general information, not medical or legal advice. Speak to your GP or care team about your own situation.
